From Frank...
I know that I share a lot of personal things in this column, including stories from my childhood with six older sisters, being a used car salesman before I could drive, how I was elected President of the Catholic Youth Organization only to have hotel soap and shampoo fall from my suit jacket during the celebration thereby embarrassingly showing my early penchant for all things free. I’ve also shared more poignant moments about those close to me and their journey with dementia, including my Aunt Catherine, friend Pat Davies, and of course, my dear mother.
Perhaps what I’ve not shared are the details of my role as a care partner (i.e., a better, more updated term than caregiver which makes the role seem only one-way) first to my aunt and now my mother. In a nutshell, as much as I absolutely adore my position with the Village, I am always clear that my job as care partner to my mother is paramount. It’s a joyous and sometimes grueling job to undertake. It’s confusing to know what to do in various situations when I have little information from her. It’s physically taxing when I need to get up many times during the night to attend to her (and I acknowledge that I’ve chosen not to have a caregiver overnight in my home.) At times, it’s emotionally difficult. It’s a balancing act to stay present and to experience the person who my mom now is while also grieving for what is no longer. Then, there’s the anticipatory grief of what’s to come, but with a mix of a desire for the relief and the immediate guilt for even thinking of that relief.
In short, being a care partner is perhaps the most important and most difficult job that I’ve ever undertaken. I never planned for this role and rather casually told both my aunt and my mother that I would take care of them. I’m sharing all of this with you, as members, volunteers, or subscribers to our newsletter because as Rosalynn Carter famously said, “There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers.”
Next Saturday, February 1st at 1pm, we’re co-sponsoring a terrific event about dementia and being a care partner at Ingleside at Rock Creek. We’ll gather at 1 for some light refreshments and then at 1:30 we’ll show the documentary “Wine, Women & Dementia.” The film is about a care partner that developed a blog while assisting her mother with dementia and then went on a road trip in an RV to meet five care partners across the country that she met through her blog.
The film tells the amazing and varied stories of those living with dementia as well as their care partners, and their funny and challenging times. Following the movie, we will have a brief panel discussion with clinicians addressing some primary questions: what are the symptoms of dementia, what resources are available in our area for those living with dementia, and what’s memory care and when might it be considered?
Obviously, I have a passion for the topic and this event, in particular. I really hope that you will consider attending. It’s free and open to anyone interested. To register, go online, call our office at 202-615-5853, or send an email to info@CWPV.org.
Read all about the Village news and events here.
— Frank Finamore, Executive Director
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